Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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