we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
