I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
