hotel room ftw
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
