so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
