I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize