you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
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Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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