DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!