I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
two words: eviction party
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.