Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime