You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
