I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
