Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
