Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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