How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
