i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
