She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
