Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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