Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
