wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
