yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
