just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
