so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
