Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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