shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
