all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize