I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
