I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
