i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
