I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
