the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
