dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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