I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
