Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
