there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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