Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
