Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
