He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
