Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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