The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
