I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
