I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize