how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
