Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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