I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
