shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
