Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
