I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
