Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
