considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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