halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
