In the future we'll all be gay
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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