garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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