We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
