Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
