I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
