But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
