the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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