Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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