If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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