so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize