im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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