You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
