$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
