The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
where does the pee come out of this thing
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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